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Address for
All Souls 2013
Isa 35.
3-10
2 Cor 1. 3-5
Consolation - defined as encouragement, compassion, sympathy,
support, comfort, solace, succor
So what does it mean for us here this evening to hear "For
just as the sufferings of Christ are abundant for us, so also
our consolation is abundant through Christ."
My guess is that for some here tonight, if not many, there is
not much sense of consolation when you think back on the family
members and friends you have lost? Sometimes - often maybe -
it is very, very difficult to find consolation - in faith, in
friendships, even in memory, that most precious element of our
love that we pray will remain with us.
Some of you will have endured a long and painful journey alongside
your loved one. Some will have suffered the sudden shock of being
deprived of someone with little or no warning - through accident
or violent incident. If you have travelled down the road of terminal
illness - or are still on that path, you will know how it can
feel like your own personal crucifixion. Slow and agonising.
And finally, after the anger and the tears comes grief. But if
all we grieve for is for our loved ones to remain, then this
is - sadly - deeply selfish. How could we wish for them to go
on suffering? It is hardly an expression of our love for them,
to wish them to remain.
So when we grieve, we have to accept and understand that we are
not really grieving for that loved one; husband, wife, mother,
father, child. For they are free - free from pain and from suffering,
from anxiety and from loneliness. No, we are grieving for ourselves.
Long-term illness is a hard road to travel. Every step of it
is like Christ carrying his cross to Calvary and falling to his
knees along the way, because the burden on his raw and bleeding
back is too hard to bear. The onlookers were as helpless as Christ
that day. When we think of our own situations, we too may feel
equally helpless.
When someone you love or are very close to is diagnosed with
a long-term, progressive illness, or when your relationship is
suddenly cut short, it is hard to endure - to stay the course.
So many so-called friends may fall by the wayside, because to
visit someone with a long-term illness or who has been suddenly
and devastatingly bereaved can take commitment and is time consuming.
It is also so hard to see the person you knew changing before
your eyes because of their illness or the sadness they feel.
In reality of course, they are no different. They are still the
person you once loved. Just because a physical body alters -
as do we all as we age - it does not mean that the person inside
changes! But there are times when it is so hard to hold onto
that fact, because possibly your family member or friend is experiencing
confusion, or hallucinating, or just being generally very unwell.
Yet all the time we have to hold on to the precious memories;
the things that we loved about them and were attracted to them
for, either in love or friendship. It is a difficult concept,
but it can be done. And when they finally pass beyond this world,
they remain real and unique.
This year we have seen the loss of Lady Barbara in this Church.
She was our patron for many years - reflecting that her family
has an historic link with this parish and this building that
goes back over several generations. She was - she is - an intrinsic
part of the history of this place. But so are many who have died
this past year. You do not have to be from any ancient line of
aristocrats to share in the history of a place. Every person
whose name is entered in our registers of baptism, marriage or
death; everyone remembered in our memorial book. Every person
remembered here tonight is part of the fabric of this place;
this community.
We remember them together. We celebrate them together. We thank
God for all their many gifts and all they have contributed to
this world. We take our consolation together.
Dear Lord,
Often it is difficult for us to travel alongside those who are
ill and dying. Help us to be able to be strengthened to walk
the long arduous journey with them. Give us and them courage,
that we may be there for them through the good days and the bad.
Help us to reach out and be touched by small elements of beauty
and kindness from one another.
And, at the end, help us to be glad that their suffering is over,
and know that you will be there with those of us who remain.
Amen.
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